The Effects of Pre-marital Counselling on Marriage Sustainability
Chapter One
Objectives of the study
General Objective of the study
The general objective of the study was to investigate the relationship between premarital counseling and marriage sustainability using a case study of couples in Communities in Port Harcourt, Rivers state.
Specific Objectives
- To investigate the relationship between Emotionally Focused Counseling and marriage sustainability of couples in Communities in Port Harcourt, Rivers state.
- To find out the relationship between Cognitive behavioral Couples Counseling and marriage sustainability of couples in Communities in Port Harcourt, Rivers state.
- To establish the relationship between Gottman’s relationship counseling and marriage sustainability of couples in Communities in Port Harcourt, Rivers state.
CHAPTER TWO
LITERATURE REVIEW
Introduction
The chapter reviews the related literature available on the problem under study per selected themes that are related to the study. This chapter thus, presents the theoretical framework and literature related to establishing the relationship between premarital counseling assessments, premarital education, premarital counseling and marriage sustainability.
Effect of Gottman method on marriage sustainability
Gottman (1999) formulated the concept of the distance isolation cascade, which indicates the transition to an emotional climate in the relationship that has additional negative affections and attributions. In this stage, couples think that it is better if they work out problems alone rather than together and live their parallel lives.
In addition, Gottman (1999) has presented different strategies, including, verbal and nonverbal communication skills, which help couples with conflict management and relationship improvements. Further, there are several specific behaviors that show relational distress such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which is called the “Four Horsemen” in the Gottman method (Hawkins et al., 2012).
The Gottman model aims at examining ways of improving the relationship of love between the couples by increasing their knowledge of themselves and spouses in personal, emotional, cognitive, philosophical, intellectual, interest and taste areas. To Dillon et al., (2015), the model aims at understanding the emotional world of spouses and understanding the concerns and improving the cognitive space of each of the spouses about each other. However, the previous scholars’ results are based on qualitative analyses and cannot be easily empirically assessed which called for a more quantitative based study.
According to Goudarzi & Boustanipour (2012), premarital counselors use this method in teaching effective ways to increase love, respect and positive interaction between the couples, revival of positive emotions, increasing gratitude, enhancing the ability to understand the advantages and disadvantages of the spouses, addressing the privileges of marriage history and philosophy of life, and substituting a more positive attitude toward the spouse. However, despite their use, the connection to marriage sustainability has often been lacking and hence the need to bridge this knowledge gap.
In addition to the above scholars, Bean (2019) stated that the model helps couples to focus on being close to each other and increasing the scale of intimacy, effective ways of listening and speaking (in other words, effective communication skills, as well as ways of attracting the attention and affection of the other partner), and finally, investigating factors causing coldness in the relationship and fixing them. The scholars’ assertions are applicable in Nigerian settings but they do not indicate whether the skills learned can be a significant fact in as far as improving marriage sustainability is concerned.
To Slatcher, Selcuk & Ong (2015), the model has often been used in teaching the importance of accepting the spouse and involving partners in decision-making and respecting his/her opinions and feelings, exercising to investigate the forms of men’s resistance to be involved in decision- making with their wives, measures to enhance the emotional feelings, and acceptance of surrender. In line with the above, Negash et al., (2015) added that through this model, the intending couples are equipped with learning ways to solve problems, identifying arguments, teaching the use of compensatory measures, paying attention to their physiology during debates, and different methods of relaxation, as well as ways to solve particular problems. Just like the previous arguments, there is a knowledge vacuum with regard to the fact that the previous scholars were limited by the qualitative nature of their studies which called for the current study as a means to bridge the knowledge gap.
CHAPTER THREE
METHODOLOGY
Introduction
This chapter presents the methodology that was used in the study. It covers the research design, study population, sample size and selection, sampling techniques and procedures, data collection methods, data collection instruments, pretesting (validity and reliability), procedure of data collection, data analysis and measurement of valuables.
Research design
This study used a cross sectional design which involved the analysis of data collected from a population, or a representative subset. The study design was adopted for this research because it enables an in-depth study, as Sekaran (2003) suggests. Data on the research variables was gathered and analyzed to determine the correlation coefficient; which was used to measure the strength and direction of the linear relationship between two factors. Mugenda and Mugenda (2003) add that correlation is investigative and attempts to capture people’s attitudes, feedback and their patterns of behavior. Both qualitative and quantitative approaches were employed. For the quantitative, numerical data was collected to explain, describe, understand, predict and control phenomenon of interest; a 5 point Likert-scaled self-administered questionnaire was used to collect data. The quantitative approach was used because it is strict on objectivity and its findings can easily be generalized (Creswell, 2003). The qualitative approach tends to promote great understanding of not just the way things are, but also why they are like that.
Study Population
The study population included 288 couples (both officially married by religious authorities and cohabiting (Nigeria Demographic and Household Survey, 2021) that had ever attended or not attended premarital counseling in Communities around Port Harcourt, Rivers state between 2007 and 2020. Secondly, religious leaders, priests, counselors involved in providing premarital counseling in the church were also targeted for this study. The officially married couples were selected on grounds that they had attended some premarital counseling while the cohabiting couples were selected because it was thought that probably not all of them had attained counseling prior to their living arrangements. On the other hand, the counselors, priests, religious leaders were chosen because of their knowledge and were expected to provide more insight on the study questions.
CHAPTER FOUR
DATA PRESENTATION, ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS
Introduction
From the previous chapter, we’d planned to use data from 165 married individuals but of these, 122 questionnaires were returned fully and rightfully answered indicating a response rate of 73.9%. This chapter presents an interpretation of the findings about the effect of premarital counseling on marriage sustainability in Port Harcourt parish, Rivers state.
CHAPTER FIVE
SUMMARY OF FINDINGS, CONCLUSIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Introduction
This chapter presents a summary of the findings, the conclusions that could be drawn as well as the recommendations for the study. The chapter also presents the recommended areas for further study.
Summary of findings
Pre-marital counseling is a viable and critical tool in improving the stability of marriages. This section is divided in line with the study objectives.
The Relationship between relationship counseling and marriage sustainability
A Pearson Correlation of 0.549* and sig.(2-tailed) of 0.000 in the table above show that at 5% significance level, there was a medium, positive and significant positive relationship between relationship counseling and marriage sustainability in the study area.
The Relationship between emotionally focused counseling and marriage sustainability
The correlation results yielded a Pearson Correlation of 0.731** and sig.(2-tailed) of 0.000 implying that at 1% significance level, there was a high, positive and significant positive relationship between emotionally focused counseling and marriage sustainability in the study area.
The Relationship between cognitive behavioral couple counseling and marriage sustainability
A Pearson Correlation of 0.728** and sig.(2-tailed) of 0.000 in the table above show that at 1% significance level, there was a high, positive and significant positive relationship between cognitive behavioral couples’ counseling and marriage sustainability in the study area.
Conclusions
This study investigated the effect of premarital counseling on marriage sustainability. It was intended to investigate the relationship between premarital counseling and marriage sustainability using a case study of couples in Port Harcourt, Rivers state. This was in relation to the fact that there is evidence from FIDA and Ministry of Gender that even though couples legalize the marriages they get into, they still do not get the marriage sustainability that they had anticipated hence there is a need to investigate the effectiveness of premarital counseling programs on marriage sustainability.
Pre-marital counseling in this study was sectioned into three including relationship counseling, emotionally focused counseling and cognitive behavioral couple counseling. Of the three, emotionally focused counseling had a more significant effect on marriage sustainability amongst couples in the study area. On the whole, premarital counseling significantly and positively affected marriage sustainability in the study area.
Recommendations
The following recommendations are made basing on the discussion and conclusions of the study: First and foremost, the study recommends that couples should be encouraged to partake emotionally focused couple counseling as it had a more significant effect on marriage sustainability. When couples engage in such assessment there will be openness in the marriage. Also emphasis should be put on ensuring that couples disclose deep secrets to avoid shocks.
Secondly, the study recommends that couples should attend thorough cognitive behavioral couple counseling sessions to gain problem solving skills for successful marital contentment.
Third, the study recommends that premarital therapists should intensify their engagements with couples to ensure that there is more reduction in misunderstandings in couples. The premarital counseling should focus a lot more on going much deeper into problems of the couple, poor communication skills, feeling stuck or disconnected, finding out the individuals unmet needs, frozen childhood needs and the deep seated roots of the problems that the couple is facing. It is only after finding this out and showing the individual ways of say, re-parenting oneself if necessary or dealing with these deep rooted problems by attending say anger management classes, maybe going for addiction counseling, to mention but a few, that the character or behavior of the client may improve. The partner will also be in a position to be more understanding of his or her partner and so better able to be patient with the partner who is facing these challenges. This will then improve on the stability of the marriage because the couple will have undergone some counseling on how to deal with their personal problems.
Further, the study recommends that the churches should continue sensitizing the public on the benefits of premarital counseling as the Church remains the biggest institution that provides this service to couples.
Finally, the study urges the government should put down policies and guidelines to be followed by the churches that are taking couples through premarital counseling. It should become law that for all those going to get married, they should undergo premarital counseling given by the places of worship where the couple is going to be married so that the chances of marriage sustainability is increased thus reduce on aspects like domestic violence and eventually the divorce rate in Nigeria.
REFERENCES
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- Bean, Ron C., (2019). Relationship Maintenance Behaviors and Marriage sustainability in Remarriage: The Examinationof Stepfamily Constellations and Associated Challenges. All Graduate Theses and Dissertations.7647.
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